Tonights a Night of Change

As I sit here in this empty room sometime after midnight I think. I think about all that has been given to me. I think about everything in this life that make me happy and make me sad. I think about how I haven't been true to myself. I think about how I give up too easily. I think about how low I think about myself. I think about how I think I need someone to complete me. I think about my family, my friends, my enemies. I think about all the people I have helped and all the people who have helped me. I think about my roommates. I think about the stars, and the sky. I think about my goals, my dreams. I sit here listening to music with cartoons on the TV realizing all I've missed and all I haven't. I think about what I did to myself. I think about how to change my life.

I've been told all my life to reach for the stars. That I'll always be able to reach my goals. But can I really reach my goals. All my life I would say I wanted to do something and then quit. Thats me. I quit. When something started to get hard I would quit. I quit field hockey because of the bitch coach. I wanted to quit marching band because it was HORRIBLE. I quit dance. I always had good inntentions though. I have a motorcycle. I wanted to race dirttrack. That never has happened. I have a punching bag and was going to get into using that. That never happened. I have a guitar and wanted to learn to play that. That never happened. Its always been that way. Well right now I am changing that around.

I don't want to real. I want something to actually live for. Something to make my days go by. I want to be part of some team or sport. I want to live a happy and healthy life, and tonight I take that stand and make that promise. I am going to start living my life as if it were my last day. I want to be able to love like I've never loved before. I want to dance like no one is watching. I want to be real and be me.